Wednesday, May 18, 2011

For better or for worse.....

I am a mother. I have never carried a baby in my body or given birth. I have two little Mayan girls who hold a piece of my heart. I was their mommy for 4 wks. I don't know where they are now, but I still think of them and pray for them. Then there's the two little girls we tried to get from India, but we were not old enough. Still, I think of them and pray that God brought them loving families. There were gallons of tears and thousands of prayers. I got to the point that I felt my heart would never be the same. So much so that we decided to accept a little girl from Guatemala when the country's doors we quickly slamming shut. We accepted her at two wks old. Our hearts were shattered, but we knew this was the road God had called us to walk. We were supposed to get Mia when she was 4 months old. Absolute latest 8 months old. At 9 months old-we were told that she may never come home, things were getting bad in Guatemala. Mom and I went to Guatemala to be with her, to meet her and she stayed with us for 5 days. It was blissful! This little one slept with me, showered with me, ate with me and was my all in all for 5 days. But, God does things that we can now see were for good. At 10 months old, Mia's birth mom was called back in to make sure that she had truly wanted Mia to have a family. Because of this, we have a picture of her with her Guatemala mommy. How cool is that?! At that time we were just so upset that she was not home. Now I am glad she had that time. I still wish we could have had her as a baby, but God knew best. So all this leads me to this....perhaps in this awful-prolonged time of continuous investigation-we may know more amazing things about the days that we did not have with our two Little's in Ethiopia. Maybe-just maybe-God has something super cool up His all-knowing sleeve:) But I will leave you with this-I am a mom. These are my children. I have poured out my heart to God for them and will until I am with my Lord in heaven. These children may not look like me or have the same color of skin as I do-but don't you ever forget that God has made me their mother. To love them and to care for them. Its my privilege to care for these children. Their birth moms made the most amazing sacrifice for these children and I consider it a honor to care for them-when God so obviously has a special plan for their lives!

Okay-that's all my ramblings for the evening:) May you be blessed-A

Thursday, May 12, 2011

More Prayers!

If you read this-please pray for me. Pray I would know what is Gods calling in my heart v.s. my desires. I have been wrecked by the Lord the last few weeks/months. Things I never thought of before that I feel the Lord is opening my eyes to. Things I never thought I would do but feel God is saying "GO". I am just really needing clarification for these things and could really use your prayers. Thank you!

Monday, May 9, 2011

It's another day!

So this picture is how I feel a lot of the time, but to be a example to my daughter-I refrain myself! Life has been challenging. We have sweet Mia and she is growing like a weed. The clothes I bought in Feb. for her Florida trip will probably not make it through the summer. She is so much fun and its so neat to hear her comments about the children. The other morning-she had just woke up and I was carrying her down stairs. She says to me "mommy, I love my sister Livia and I really miss her". Or I hear her praying for them as she plays through the day. She is so excited to show them her world and we are too. Its has been a long journey and for some reason it has been very hard for me. I think its the knowledge gained through our time in the country. The knowledge that these little ones have had a hard start. That we will be the 4th family that they will have. And then I have a serious problem of wanting to be in Africa so bad it hurts. I have cried so many tears for this country and the hardships of so many. I know God has called me to serve in missions. I never knew it would be so hard for me to wait to go back. I know that I am in a season of being a mommy and being needed at home. So until that day I get to go back -I wait and pray and try to be the best mommy I can be:)

May you be blessed-A