For better or for worse.....

I am a mother. I have never carried a baby in my body or given birth. I have two little Mayan girls who hold a piece of my heart. I was their mommy for 4 wks. I don't know where they are now, but I still think of them and pray for them. Then there's the two little girls we tried to get from India, but we were not old enough. Still, I think of them and pray that God brought them loving families. There were gallons of tears and thousands of prayers. I got to the point that I felt my heart would never be the same. So much so that we decided to accept a little girl from Guatemala when the country's doors we quickly slamming shut. We accepted her at two wks old. Our hearts were shattered, but we knew this was the road God had called us to walk. We were supposed to get Mia when she was 4 months old. Absolute latest 8 months old. At 9 months old-we were told that she may never come home, things were getting bad in Guatemala. Mom and I went to Guatemala to be with her, to meet her and she stayed with us for 5 days. It was blissful! This little one slept with me, showered with me, ate with me and was my all in all for 5 days. But, God does things that we can now see were for good. At 10 months old, Mia's birth mom was called back in to make sure that she had truly wanted Mia to have a family. Because of this, we have a picture of her with her Guatemala mommy. How cool is that?! At that time we were just so upset that she was not home. Now I am glad she had that time. I still wish we could have had her as a baby, but God knew best. So all this leads me to this....perhaps in this awful-prolonged time of continuous investigation-we may know more amazing things about the days that we did not have with our two Little's in Ethiopia. Maybe-just maybe-God has something super cool up His all-knowing sleeve:) But I will leave you with this-I am a mom. These are my children. I have poured out my heart to God for them and will until I am with my Lord in heaven. These children may not look like me or have the same color of skin as I do-but don't you ever forget that God has made me their mother. To love them and to care for them. Its my privilege to care for these children. Their birth moms made the most amazing sacrifice for these children and I consider it a honor to care for them-when God so obviously has a special plan for their lives!

Okay-that's all my ramblings for the evening:) May you be blessed-A

More Prayers!

If you read this-please pray for me. Pray I would know what is Gods calling in my heart v.s. my desires. I have been wrecked by the Lord the last few weeks/months. Things I never thought of before that I feel the Lord is opening my eyes to. Things I never thought I would do but feel God is saying "GO". I am just really needing clarification for these things and could really use your prayers. Thank you!

It's another day!

So this picture is how I feel a lot of the time, but to be a example to my daughter-I refrain myself! Life has been challenging. We have sweet Mia and she is growing like a weed. The clothes I bought in Feb. for her Florida trip will probably not make it through the summer. She is so much fun and its so neat to hear her comments about the children. The other morning-she had just woke up and I was carrying her down stairs. She says to me "mommy, I love my sister Livia and I really miss her". Or I hear her praying for them as she plays through the day. She is so excited to show them her world and we are too. Its has been a long journey and for some reason it has been very hard for me. I think its the knowledge gained through our time in the country. The knowledge that these little ones have had a hard start. That we will be the 4th family that they will have. And then I have a serious problem of wanting to be in Africa so bad it hurts. I have cried so many tears for this country and the hardships of so many. I know God has called me to serve in missions. I never knew it would be so hard for me to wait to go back. I know that I am in a season of being a mommy and being needed at home. So until that day I get to go back -I wait and pray and try to be the best mommy I can be:)

May you be blessed-A

Shredded.

I have to tell you that the last few weeks have been so hard. There are just so many crazy twist and turnes going on right now with our adoption. Thursday brought more news we didnt want to hear. I cried all the way to town and back, and truly my heart just wont bounce up again. I am doing my best to hold on to the Word of God and to keep going. Trying to be happy for my family and put on a smile each day for Mia. But my heart is shredded. It hurts. I know God is in control and I know that He knew each twist and turn before it happened. I know He knew we would not get a single grant we applied for. He knew we would watch our babies turn into toddlers while they were still far away from home. He knew our visas would be twice as much as we had been told. He knows we have $1886. 52 to get to Africa and back. He also knows it cost a lot more than that and I know that He will continue to make a way and provide. He has done some amazing things on this journey and He is not done.
This week, when things were crashing down around me, I just kept thinking of Jesus. How He must have felt this week so many years ago. How He must have had such a heavy heart, knowing the suffering that was to come. But-then that 3rd day...When the world forever changed! I am so thankful that He Rose!! That He payed the price and ripped the curtain in two. That I can pour out my heart and soul to Him and know He hears every cry and even collects my tears. Praise God for the gift of a RISEN SAVIOR!!! In this I find my strength to go on and to continue through each day-knowing it will be worth it all. I pray that if you are reading this and you dont know Jesus Christ as your personal savior-that you will go to church on Sunday and hear the most awesome news ever told! He loves you so much He died for you!
May you be blesses-A

Where He leads......

I just thought I would throw this out there.....I am already thinking about our next adoption and wondering where God is going to take us. Wondering if we will be lead to another child. There are so many little ones who need some one. I cant wait to see if this is something God is going to do. I always wanted 5 kids. Yes. 5. Some may call me crazy or insane, and after each adoption I do wonder if I am crazy. But its still sitting in my mind. Still I wonder if I will be one of those moms driving a huge white van!:) Where He leads, I will follow! May you be blessed-A

April 1st

Today I was thinking of Easter. This picture is from last year:) Doesnt seem possible that its been a year since I have seen my parents-WoW! Any way, I was thinking about the ressurection of Christ and His second coming. This is something that is always on my mind right now. We are waiting for "the call" to go get our children in Ethiopia and we are also on watch for the return of Christ. Every day I think of it and I am glad for the daily reminder of all of this through our adoptions and the waiting. I hope you will take the next few weeks to prepare your hearts for Ressurection Sunday! This is the best day ever and I am so thankful that the debt I could not pay has been payed in full! May you be Blessed-A

Ethiopia-Part 2

This picture is Ethiopia. The people are so very kind and we had so much fun getting to know many of them. Their hearts amaze me. Coming from a society that is so hurried and doesn't have time for inconvenience, much of the things we saw blessed me. I am struck by how people help the beggars and the poor. How they walk arm in arm, with out worry of obnoxious sexual comments. I love that they openly show kindness for one another. To me, when we go to Ethiopia-the bible comes alive! After witnessing this culture, I can picture how the disciples sat together and reclined in Christ's embrace. Walking through Korah, I picture how it would be if Jesus came there. The crowd of needy, broken people who would show up to be healed! And I see Summer-She is the hands and feet of Jesus to these people and how they love her! The first time I went to Ethiopia, all I saw was desperation and despair. This time, I saw hope and a future. God is raising up people who love Him to do a mighty work for His Kingdom!

I cant wait to go back again! I cant wait to scoop my little blessings up and hold them knowing I will never have to leave them again. God has a great plan for them. He has done amazing things to bring these little ones to America and I cant wait to see how His story for their lives unfolds! If you would like to be a blessing to the people of Africa-you can through donations! We are collecting diapers, wipes, diaper creams and powder, formula-lactose free and non-gassy, children's vitamins and medications. If you are local- you can drop them off at Bliss Salon and Day Spa in Lafayette. If your not local-you can send them to me or send a monetary donation and we will buy the items. You can email me at ashleyskiles29@msn.com for our address. Cant wait to bless these people:)

May you be blessed-A